Creating a Supportive Environment for LGBTQ+ Youth
There is a lot of information about LGBTQ people being at higher risk for health concerns or mental illness, but we would rather spread a more hopeful message this pride month! Studies show family and parental support for LGBTQIA+ children and teens positively impacts health outcomes as children grow. LGBTQIA+ adults who have experienced high levels of family acceptance in adolescence are less likely to experience depression, are at a lower risk for suicide and drug use, and have higher levels of self esteem.
Building an environment where children feel supported and accepted may seem like second nature, but creating an environment where gender identities and sexual orientations are understood and accepted may seem less straightforward. You might find yourself wondering where to even begin. Whether it is your child, their friend, or extended family, chances are you will have an LGBTQIA+ youth in your home at some point. We’re happy to share a few resources to help you feel more confident in building an affirming, safe space for young people to grow.
Build your understanding of the terminology. Understanding the LGBTQIA acronym (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual) is just scratching the surface. We encourage you to actively research concepts and learn the differences between sex, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, etc. The Human Rights Campaign keeps an updated list of LGBTQIA terms which is a helpful place to start.
Normalize and celebrate diversity. Children and teens pick up on how parents speak about the differences of others. Let your child hear that being unique or different is something to be recognized and celebrated, not hidden. Normalizing diversity can be as simple as recognizing different family structures. “Sometimes people have two mommies or two daddies” or “Sometimes boys have crushes on other boys.”
Encourage empathy and understanding. Children are curious by nature. Encourage their questions to be caring and respectful. When children ask questions about people’s appearances such as “Are they a boy or a girl?”, one example of a caring response could be “They might be a boy or a girl or neither. Not everyone is a boy or a girl. Since we are just seeing them at the store, we can just smile at them like everyone else.”
Embrace ambiguity and change. Adolescents who are starting to explore their identities may feel pressured to know who they are RIGHT NOW. Validate a youth’s desire to know themselves while giving them space to not have all the answers.
Recognize Individuality. While there is a general understanding of LGBTQIA terminology, each person experiences their sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression differently. Ask caring questions such as “This is what my understanding of gender fluidity means, but I would love to know you more. Can you tell me what this means for you?”
These tips can help set the groundwork for children to understand that their parents are caring and willing to listen as they grow to know more about themselves and give space for teens to come to their family as sources of support. If you are still feeling a bit lost or have questions, consider finding a support group (Atlanta PFLAG group is a great place to start) or therapist who works with LGBTQ+ youth and their families where you can be vulnerable with your learning process. To learn more information on the connection between family reactions to LGBTQIA+ youth’s identity and adult health outcomes, take a look at this report from the Family Acceptance Project.