Children with ADHD often feel overwhelmed by their day-to-day experiences. A predictable routine provides a sense of security and reduces the mental effort required to figure out "what comes next." While parents often know that structure and routines benefit children with ADHD, it can be difficult to know where to start or what strategies can be helpful. Continue reading for some specifics on adjusting routines to be more effective for children with ADHD. 

Have a conversation with your child before changes take place. Encourage your child to think of ways that their days could improve if there was more structure (less family fighting, improved grades, decrease stress/ anxiety, getting to activities on time). Discuss how everyone will be making changes to improve and help each other. These conversations will help your child feel more involved and decrease resistance. 

Equip yourself with regulation tools. There will be bumps along the road with every change, and it can be a process to find the routine, boundaries and rewards that works well for your child. Give yourself and your child space to make mistakes. Practice communicating in a calm tone and model tools like deep breathing and muscle relaxation.

Build in extra time. Time management is often a struggle for children with ADHD. Giving your child time to recover from distractions will help them accomplish tasks without feeling pressured and rushed. This may look like adding in 15 to 30 extra minutes to a morning routine or having your child get ready for bed earlier. 

Pick a few priority goals. Keep in mind that building a routine is a process. It is ok if it takes a few months for your child to build up the skills it takes get ready for school on their own. Adding in 10 new tasks in the morning can feel overwhelming for a child, so focus on the most important goals to work on first. For example, while making the bed may be something you desire for your child to do before school, it may be a goal to work on after goals like brushing teeth and eating breakfast are accomplished consistently. 

Be specific with communication. This helps ensure that you and your child are on the same page about what is being asked of them. Try moving away from language such as “get ready for bed” and instead break down routines into smaller pieces like “brush your teeth and put on your pjs”.  

Have reminders for your child that decrease conflict. Working memory is another struggle for children with ADHD which can impact their ability to hear a to-do list and remember all the tasks while working through them. At the same time, children often feel stressed, pressured or rushed when they receive frequent task reminders from their parents. Having a visual checklist can help them remember tasks and give them an increased feeling of independence. Reminder alarms can help them with managing time and encourage them to move from one task to another.  

Incorporating breaks and rewards can help keep your child motivated. Pairing an unfavorable task with a preferred task or building in physical activity breaks into the routine will help your child accomplish more with less resistance. Boundaries are also important for helping a child stay focused. Express boundaries in a positive way, for example, “We will be able to get to screen time when homework is finished”. Implementing rewards after your child is consistent with their routine (but also leaving room for mistakes) will help them see the benefit of working through challenges. An added privilege, like picking the family movie, or staying up 30-minutes later on the weekend, can be an effective reward for increasing independence and responsibility by sticking to their routine. 

Finally, check in with your child frequently about the changes. Give yourself and your child time to express what is going well and where there could be continued improvement. Listen to their feedback or requests for help and adjust aspects of the routine based on your family's needs. Let your child know that they are heard even when they are being asked to do new or uncomfortable things.

If you or your child could use help with creating routines, please contact us for additional support. Therapists can help with improving family communication and building a system that fosters success and confidence for your child and peace of mind for you.