It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
…but it doesn’t always feel that way
The holidays are here! This time of year brings so much excitement and joy for many, but it can also bring added pressure and stress. Whether we are navigating difficult relationships, trying to cope with disruptions in our daily routines, or managing emotional expectations, the holidays can lead to feeling overwhelmed or lonely. Let’s chat about some of the ways we can manage the stress that accompanies some of the most common concerns around the holidays.
Relationship Stress:
One of the most common forms of stress are relationships! We often find ourselves spending increased time with family over the holidays which can magnify already existent issues in relationships. Creating boundaries around stressful gatherings can be helpful to manage difficult interactions:
Identify conversations that trigger confrontation ahead of time and communicate your willingness (or lack of) to engage in those conversations if they arise.
Create a plan on where and how to leave a stressful gathering if needed.
Have a trusted person to process with and confide in to build your emotional support.
Relationships are also wonderful ways to feel supported through stress. The focus on relationships during the holidays can be a great time to consider who our support network is. Focusing on the love and care in our family (no matter how imperfect) can help reframe relationships stress. The holidays are a great time to share how much people mean to us.
We may find ourselves with a lack of community during the holidays. Engaging in family holiday traditions (watching a favorite movie, listening to meaningful music, eating a favorite holiday meal, etc) can be a helpful ways to feel connected even when you are celebrating the holidays alone or apart from family. Setting up a virtual game night or gathering with friends or family who may live farther away or exploring community events can build feelings of support. Volunteering can strengthen your sense of community. Consider giving back to others who are often alone during the holidays. Places like nursing homes, hospitals, homeless shelters and animal shelters often need extra volunteers around the holidays.
Disruption in Routines:
The holidays frequently switch up our schedules. Time off of work and school makes it easy to let go of our normal daily rhythms. Whether we notice it or not, alterations in our sleeping and eating patterns cause stress on our body. Keeping some similar routines and patterns can help us maintain a sense of balance. Take time to check in with yourself each day to ask yourself about your physical needs. Be mindful of consuming alcohol as this leads to poor judgement and emotional dysregulation.
Emotional Expectations:
The hardships in life don’t pause to give us a break during the holiday season. The expectation that we need to feel happy can increase anxiety around current difficulties or shine a light on hard memories. Changing our perspective on how we “should” feel during the holidays can help us be present in a more meaningful way.
Give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions show up. There is no one way to experience this time of year. Being honest and authentic with our emotions instead of attempting to force happiness can help us connect with ourselves and others.
Honor memories. The holidays can be a painful remind of another year gone by without someone we love. We might be grieving the loss of a love one or changes in relationships. Take time to acknowledge the hurtful changes, and recognize and honor the memories that were meaningful and special with those loved ones.
Limit time of social media. It is difficult to look at other’s seemingly perfect lives on social media when we are experiencing stress. Social media is often a curated space of the highlights of people’s lives, and it’s not standard or expectation that we should live by. Taking breaks from being online can decrease the dissatisfaction that can come from comparing ourselves to others on social media.
Ask for Help
No matter how difficult the holidays can feel, you are not alone. There are so many people who experience hardship around this time of year, and there are people willing to help.
Reach out to a Warmline. Warmlines are phone numbers that are free and open for anyone to call. They offer support from people with training and lived experience, even when you just need someone to be there.
Connect with an in-person or online support group.
Contact the Crisis Hotline. Call or text 988, available 24/7.