It’s the end of the month! How are your New Year’s resolutions going?

If they haven’t been going so well, I imagine you are in good company. Let us provide you with some Google stats about New Year’s resolutions: 

• 38.5% of US adults set New Year’s resolutions every year.

• 59% of young adults (18-34) have New Year’s resolutions, which makes it the largest demographic that sets these goals.

• 48% want to exercise more, making it the most popular New Year’s resolution. The top 3 resolutions are all health-related.

• 23% quit in the first week, and only 36% make it past the first month.

• 9% successfully keep their New Year’s resolutions.

New Year’s Resolutions are a great idea, but far too many of us make them when the clock strikes midnight without taking the time to think about realistic and attainable goals. When I meet with patients and their families, we focus a lot on goal setting.  At first, the goals are often too broad or too general to really be achievable.  A goal I often hear is “I want my child to be happy” or “I don’t want my child to be anxious anymore.”   These are great goals, but what do they actually mean?  When parents identify broad goals, I explore with them attainable objectives using SMART goals. SMART is an old acronym that continues to be useful in guiding goal setting and generally leads to better outcomes.  SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.

Below is an example of how to use SMART goals with someone who has Social Anxiety:

1. Specific: The more specific your goal, the easier it will be to focus on and achieve. Instead of saying "I don’t want to be socially anxious," set a specific goal such as "I want to be able to go out with friends once a weekend.”

2. Measurable: Setting a goal that can be measured will help you track your progress and know when you have achieved it. For example, instead of saying "I don't want to feel anxious when I am out with my friends” , set a specific goal such as "I will ask three questions to each of my friends when we are out.”  

3. Achievable: If you know you are not ready to go out on the weekends yet, then don’t set that goal. Start with something more attainable, like “I will video chat my friend Michael and ask him 3 questions before I get off the call.” 

4. Relevant: The goal should be meaningful to you. If you are not socially anxious, do not make a goal about social anxiety.  Do not make a goal that someone else wants you to achieve. The caveat to this is that people with anxiety will often shy away from goals/objectives that could help improve their anxiety. A therapist could help you make appropriate and relevant  goals.  

5. Time bound: Give yourself a realistic time frame to complete the goal. What is a realistic time frame for managing your anxiety? There really isn't one, and achieving a goal requires intrinsic motivation, accountability, a clear plan/strategy, believing in yourself and your ability, and a good support system.

If you or a loved one is struggling with a mental health issue and do not know where to start, it could be helpful to talk to a mental health professional (MHP).  You can read our previous blog post about the differences between MHPs.  Regardless of the MHP you choose, they can help identify a concrete goal, make a plan, and support you in achieving that goal. On the way, you will also learn skills and techniques that will make the journey a little less complicated and stressful and, hey, maybe even more fun! 

Have an awesome start to the New Year!